Words Matter

When we are young our brains are like sponges. We soak everything in and whilst we don’t always listen to what is being said there are things that are said that we will never forget.

I remember when I was growing up a few adults in my life constantly bringing my weight to my attention. I wasn’t a large girl by any means in fact I was slim and in my opinion healthy. Things were said to me that made me question my eating habits and size. As a teen I developed an eating disorder that no one in my family knew about.

For 3 years during my early teens I had bulimia. I would binge eat when I got home from school and then throw it all up. I did this because I was hungry and going through hormonal shifts and I didn’t want to get fat.

At some point something changed for me and it stopped. I didn’t need to tell anyone and I didn’t need therapy. I think that shift came when I found my people in school. I was surrounded by friends who liked me for who I was and how I looked but it stayed with me for a lifetime.

I would hate to think that I could say something to a young person that would do the same type of damage to them.

We often don’t realise that what we say has that type of impact on people.

In fact I’m guilty of saying things to my boys that I think are harmless but have probably generated some anxiety in them that I am responsible for.

My job as a parent is to build their esteem, to make them hold their head high and to be proud of who they are at all times.

I haven’t always done this and to my beautiful boys I apologise and will make more of an effort to be better moving forward.

I don’t want them to carry the scars that I have for years because it’s exhausting and sad.

As an adult and especially since having my last child I have been weight conscious for years. At one point I was quite sick with thyroid disease and got very thin but everyone would tell me how good I looked. Now as a women who has had 4 children, who walks every day and rarely stops moving I feel ashamed for being curvy and yet I know that I am healthy.

Words matter! When you go to say something to a child try to remember that words do matter. Don’t say you’re naughty, instead say what you did was wrong. Don’t say you’re an idiot, say that was a silly thing to do.

Words matter!

Build them up, not down and remember that words last a lifetime.