Mornings

Do you remember the Tasmanian Devil from those old school Looney Tunes cartoons? Well, that’s what Leni is like first thing in the morning. A tornado that blows in every morning.

When he opens his eyes, he will literally go from zero to hundred in a matter of seconds. His brain is firing on all cylinders from the moment he wakes up until the moment his medication kicks in which is normally an hour and a half after he takes it.

Some mornings it can be quite entertaining and funny but there are also mornings where it can be quite hard to manage or for lack of a better word tolerate.

Leni has no concept of volume in the mornings and will often come into our room to wake me up so that I can get up and make him breakfast. I think his body resets over night and after eating sparingly the day before when medicated the rest he gets at night makes him ravenous first thing the next day.

We try to make sure that he has a filling brekkie because that meal needs to carry his body through to the afternoon when he finally regains part of his appetite. When he was initially assessed for ADHD, they encourage a discussion with a nutritionist who walks you through the types of food a child of Leni’s age should be consuming for energy, growth and development but if I am to be completely honest that will often go out the window when you have an ADHDer.

Leni might want bacon and eggs every day for 3 weeks and then suddenly decide he hates it and suddenly wants fruit loops or toast. Whatever he decides to eat when that change occurs is what will be consumed daily at breakfast for a few weeks before another change is made. Its one of his many quirks that we cater to because if we didn’t, he just wouldn’t eat.

Once breakfast is finished and he has taken his tablets we literally just wing it until it is time for him to get ready for school. Often, he will play a game like Minecraft or watch videos on YouTube but if he is struggling to contain his energy he will go outside and jump on the trampoline, play fetch with the dog or annoy his brother.

He wakes up anywhere between 530am and 6am and could very well be out on the trampoline well before 7am but the idea is to burn the energy he has which will eventually turn into Dopamine at which time he will feel calm enough to focus again.

You will know when his medication has started to kick in because he will do things without having to be asked twice and won’t complain. He will get ready for school without any fuss and brush his teeth and hair without having to be asked. This is somewhat amusing to me given that his ‘neurotypical’ brother still cannot do either without being nagged or constantly reminded.

When Leni was first diagnosed, he was quite emotional and would often snap or cry at the smallest thing. Just being told not to do something would set him off which would result in a half hour meltdown before school that would put us all in a bad mood for the remainder of the day. He has gone form having meltdowns to using swear words to express how he feels which if you ask me is the lesser of two evils.

The key to a good morning for us is to be organized and stick to our routine. Children with ADHD function better with a routine so we run with the same game plan daily. If we are away on holidays or have people visiting, we still try to stick with our routine where possible and I make no excuses for that. If Leni is happy, we are all happy. What works for one family may not work for another, but the key is to find what works and stick with it.

I know that there are some parents out there with diagnosed children who understandably get frustrated because their child won’t get dressed for school or eat their breakfast, but I believe that for things to run smoothly and for them to learn how to do these simple tasks you need to make it easy for them to engage. Lay their school uniform out on their bed or better still place it next to them on the lounge so it’s right there when they are told to get dressed. Pack their bag for them and place it near the door so all they do is grab it on the way out and head to the bathroom with them to brush their teeth and hair until it becomes routine for them and before long, they will be doing it on their own.

Kids with ADHD don’t want to disappoint us, but they need help to manage what is otherwise a simple task for their neurotypical peers. The idea is to teach them and support them until they no longer need that help. Don’t let mornings be a battle because it won’t just be you that it has an impact on. Make things easy, keep them consistent and use direct sentences to communicate because they won’t hear anything else on either side of get dressed, trust me.

And lastly if he wakes up and things are just not going to plan for whatever reason I give him space. I won’t stay in the same room and engage in an argument anymore, instead I’ll go to my bathroom lock the door and have a very long shower or grab the dog and head out for a walk. The goal should be to keep our Tasmanian devil calm until his meds have kicked in and then off to school he goes before he comes home in the afternoon and the come down from a stimulant begins but more on that some other time.