Mum Guilt

I was hit with serious mum guilt over the Christmas break.

It just felt like we were never doing enough with the boys.

Everyone was away and seeing posts pop up on instagram all the time whilst your working and your kids are entertaining themselves at home is tough.

When the older boys were young and I worked over the holidays I didn’t think too much of it because Instagram wasn’t a thing and I really had nothing to compare it to. They also spent more time at vacation care so they were still busy even if I was working.

This year I felt like we should have been out more and that we should have been spending way more time with them but it’s not always possible to take leave from work when you want it.

The boys didn’t seem overly concerned that they were not doing much. In fact it was more of an issue for me than anyone else. It frustrated me that they were content to just be at home doing nothing.

The hours they spent gaming would make me blush if I was under oath in a court of law but they survived. They were not traumatised and when we did have plans they participated and stepped away from their devices.

I should have been happy that they were content with their own company but at the time I was so busy comparing myself to everyone else and what they were doing that I couldn’t see any of that.

Mum guilt sucks and whilst it’s ok to occasionally overthink things it’s not ok to let it consume you.

I need to constantly remind myself that I’m doing my best for them and that it is enough.

Most kids will remember a happy mum who wasn’t always worried or consumed by guilt. They will remember being safe and comfortable during their school holidays whether that’s at home or away.

I don’t want them to remember the worry and anxiety I had when I couldn’t be there with them all the time or when I couldn’t take them here or there.

Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for and it’s ok for them to be bored or to not go away every school break.

So the shame that you feel when you’re not living up to your own expectations and those of others is something that many of us including myself need to work on because its often not how others see things at all. Mum

guilt!