Motivation

The one thing many children with ADHD lack is commitment and motivation and as a parent it can be extremely frustrating and somewhat annoying.

Leni is a talented athlete. He picks things up quite easily and has great hand eye coordination. His only downfall though is his lack of commitment once he reaches a point with a sport where the novelty has worn off.

Leni will sign up for a sport and do really well but just when your nearing the end of the season he switches off and loses interest. He no longer wants to go to training and he no longer finds any joy in competing.

As his parents we struggle with this a lot. He was chosen to participate in a junior soccer program for talented players and gave up on that three quarters of the way through often having meltdowns when he was told he had to go. He is currently in a few different basketball programs and is now three weeks from the finish line and no longer keen to attend.

As a parent it sucks for a few reasons, one you have invested time and money into this new venture and none of that is refundable when he suddenly decides he has had enough.

And, secondly it’s really quite sad that such talent just goes to waste. You know he has the potential, his coaches know he has the potential but he just doesn’t have enough in the tank to carry him over that line.

It is the executive function deficit that makes it difficult for him to sustain his interest. At the beginning it is exciting and new but once something becomes repetitive that’s when he loses interest and all is lost.

Something else we often forget is his ability to transition from one task to another. When Leni comes home from school he is exhausted because unlike many other kids he has had to use so much of his energy just to focus and stay on task. This means he doesn’t want to get up and go off to something else straight after school especially if that sport requires more attention and cooperation.

It’s such a difficult position to be in as a parent. There is a part of my brain telling me that if he has committed to something he needs to see it through versus the neurodiverse parent in me saying this must be hard for him and I should just be glad he gave it a go.

As parents we get caught up in the cost and time and there is a big part of us that doesn’t want to disappoint those who run these sports and programs let alone the other children and parents.

The hardest thing for us is knowing that he is so good and has so much talent but just gives up so easily.

Knowing when to not push is hard when you have an ADHDer and we often find ourselves forgetting our own rules around this. As humans we too get frustrated, tired and annoyed.

For now we continue to ride the ups and downs of sport with an ADHDer like a bucking bull. Maybe one day something will stick and if it doesn’t at least we can honestly say hand on heart that we never held him back.