Refuel

Time alone as an ADHD parent is as rare as a blood moon. It’s amazing when it happens but it takes a few years around the sun to manifest.

In 2022 we had our first weekend away without the boys in about 2 years which was amazing. I find that hubby and I need that quality time to reconnect and to remind ourselves that we are not just mum and dad. I also believe that time alone is just as important as couple time so when the opportunity presents itself I jump on it.

My family went camping for a few days and because I’m not a fan of camping I opted out which is fine because it’s just not my thing. Sleeping on a blow up mattress with no running water or flushing toilet for more than a few hours during perimenopause is definitely not my vibe. I may have been ok with it in my twenties but the truth is I’ve never really liked it and I’ve always done it to make others happy.

The 48 hours I had alone was bliss. I missed the chaos that is normally our home but I relished watching whatever I wanted, having breakfast with a girlfriend, going for walks along the beach alone and eating baked beans for dinner. It’s the simple things.

Those hours alone are so important for our mental health and I don’t apologise for that. Raising children and especially one who is neurodiverse is quite taxing so it shouldn’t be taboo to tap out for a little and recharge.

If you are fortunate to have a supportive partner get them to tap in for you or maybe grandparents or even friends, but don’t ever feel guilty about it.

I use to care what others thought but now I don’t. If it works for me and my family and if it makes me a better parent I’ll do it or try it.

Parenting is hard. Parenting a child with ADHD is harder still. It can create conflict within the family, less family time and relationship problems. The demands placed on parents or carers of children with ADHD mean that alone time is not only necessary but essential.

Make no excuses for needing that time out and don’t compare yourself to others because the truth is no two people are the same. If you need alone time to be a better person or parent then take it.

“An empty tank will take you nowhere. Be sure to refuel”. The Incremental Mama.