Sunday Blues 😞

It’s Sunday, and Sundays in our house are hard because Leni will often start to worry about the upcoming week.

School avoidance is a big thing in children with ADHD and it’s often because there are underlying concerns for them like anxiety, the pressure to fit in and worse still to be like everyone else when clearly they are not.

On Sunday nights, Leni will start to say I don’t want to go to school, I hate school and I have no friends. School can be such a difficult place for a child who has different needs to others and even more so when those needs vary so much to the majority of other children there.

Eager to make friends and keep them he will often try harder than some to please people which for can be super exhausting.

Leni will often say I have no friends but spend a whole lunch hour playing footy with boys in his year and will often join them in playing online games after school too. He enjoys the time he spends with his peers but the real issue is keeping friendships because many ADHDers tend to self sabotage their relationships through no fault of their own.

Leni likes to win and follow rules so if he does play at lunch with other boys and they cheat or he doesn’t win he will hold onto those big feelings, struggling to make sense of them.

Children with ADHD can say mean or rude things when they are upset and some even lash out by pushing, kicking or hitting the person that upset them. This doesn’t go down well in a school environment and rightly so which often results in the child getting into trouble and the instigator walking away. This was often the case for us when Leni was in Kindergarten and although I know he was in the wrong it was very frustrating and upsetting as a parent to know that the other child or children involved who started the teasing rarely got into trouble.

School avoidance also has a lot to do with having to sit and focus on things for hours on end. Imagine not being able to control the urge to move because neurologically you can’t and being punished for it? Or worse still being called out on it in front of everyone all the time? It’s damn hard!!!

We have become experts at navigating the Sunday blues. I don’t ignore his feelings when he brings it up but I do remind him that despite not wanting to go he always does which makes us very proud.

To think that he will walk in that gate on his own now after waving goodbye and blowing a kiss is in itself amazing because I remember the days when he would sit in the car crying or get out of the car, walk towards the school gate and then run up the street.

Those were really tough days for all of us. I felt like such a bad mum and would often beat myself up about it. Why couldn’t I make this easier for him?

What does help is time and lots of patience. It’s a tough battle to fight when your torn between protecting him from all the things that make him uncomfortable and making him face them head on.

For us it’s about managing those big Sunday feelings and making the transition from weekend to school week as seamless as possible. I want him to know that I get it and that I’ll do whatever I can to make it less of a battle for him because that’s what being his mum is all about.