Online Support Groups

When Leni was first diagnosed with ADHD I joined a few Facebook support groups because I needed to find people who could offer free, unbiased advice. I had no idea what I was dealing with and really thought that these groups had more experience and could hopefully offer me the guidance and support I needed.

I would spend hours reading through posts written by parents or care givers struggling with their child’s diagnosis, behavioural issues and medication woes.

Back then I took the advice verbatim. It was so varied and because I was so overwhelmed and lost I honestly thought that everyone else knew better than I did.

In the early days most of my questions were about the rebound effects of medication and there were some really good comments from parents about what I could expect and what they did to handle it. Their experiences helped me at the time and encouraged me to question things with my paediatrician which prompted reviews of Lenis treatment plan.

As things settled and we found our groove I stopped spending so much time on these groups and started to do more of my own research. I started to rely more on my intuition or gut feeling as I like to call it and started to use more of the tools I came across in books written by doctors.

The difficult thing about online groups is that everyone is different and as a result of that you may not always get the right advice or support you need.

I once posted about Lenis anxiety and how he didn’t want to participate in something at school. In the group I mentioned how I was hesitant to make him go and that for me the best thing was not to push it but to encourage him to participate. I wanted to see what others thought but all it did was make me regret reaching out in the first place. I had people who agreed that there was no point in pushing him if he didn’t want to take part and there were others, who thought that if I didn’t make him participate I was making it hard for him to build resilience.

Reaching out just made me question my ability as a parent to make an informed decision in the best interests of my own child. I let people I didn’t know get into my head but thankfully in the end it didn’t sway my ability to do what my gut told me to do. It did however help me to realise that whilst many of them have children with ADHD they don’t necessarily understand it and still believe that they can adopt the same parenting style they use with a neurotypical child with their neurodiverse child.

Now I follow these pages to stay in the loop but rarely post choosing instead to use my blog to vent or share my experiences. I worry that people rely solely on these groups and the often strong opinions of those who are members rather than opting to educate themselves and trust in their own instincts.

My one bit of advice to newbies is to subscribe to useful publications like ADDitude magazine, read recommended books on the topic and talk to your paediatrician or GP when things concern you. Check in with online support groups occasionally but never doubt your own instincts when asking for advice because they are rarely wrong.