Screen Time

I don’t even know where to start with screen time for an ADHDer other than to say it’s annoying, frustrating and the bain of my existence. I’m not a gamer so I don’t do fortnite, COD or NBA but I am partial to some Super Mario if I get to choose the character.

Screen time and ADHD go hand in hand like hot chocolate and marsmallows, in moderation they are great but have a little too much and you start to feel sick. Leni loves his screen time and it’s one of the few things we butt heads on daily.

I would love to write that as parents we are all over it like a rash and that we monitor his gaming but the reality is that whilst we have had discussions and we do try to limit his time on screens it isn’t nearly as easy as so many of the experts say it is.

Of course we are the parents and we make the rules but when your dealing with a neuro diverse child so many ‘rules’ go right out the window. Screen time for an ADHDer equals dopamine and when they are hyper focused on a game they enjoy and it delivers immediate rewards it becomes even harder to pull them away from said game.

Once upon a time we used screen time as a reward and now its a way of life. Whilst I don’t think its ideal for him to be on it all the time I also know that this generation of children have been raised on and by technology and that it will play such a big role in their future that to deny it would be crazy. It’s used everywhere and even as an adult I struggle to go without it so I don’t know how I would expect Leni to.

When Leni is hyper focused on a game and dinner is ready or its time to leave for school I’ve learned that to break his focus I need to walk into the room and give Leni time warnings but not without making eye contact or touching him gently on the arm so I know he hears me, otherwise its all fruitless.

On the occasion that we have allowed him way too much time in front of a game we are punished immediately. As soon as the game is switched off he gets angry and will become argumentative which can last for 5 minutes or even an hour.

In my opinion finding the right balance is not the issue, instead I believe it has more to do with finding the right game. I don’t know about you or your kids but if he plays Fortnite even for just half an hour he turns into the incredible hulk and will yell and carry on for hours. Yet, if he spends a few hours on Minecraft building a farm and feeding his animals there is literally no change in his mood or demeanour whatsoever.

Unfortunately for us Leni isn’t much of an old school gamer so games like Mario Kart and Pokemon don’t interest him as much as Call of Duty or Battlefield. I don’t think for one minute that this means he will grow up to be a serial killer instead I think its because he gets a much better hit of Dopamine when playing the more intense games because they deliver faster wins and prizes.

I recently registered to attend an online webinar about managing screen time for a child with ADHD because I am often at a loss when it comes to finding a better way to deal with it. I’m not sure there is a magical answer but when you have exhausted all other strategies you will try just about anything to avoid another meltdown.

Of late Leni has been spending way too much time on gaming which is making life at home somewhat unbearable. We have created a monster and that’s totally on us, so now we need to find a way to change it.

I know there won’t be a quick or easy fix and I dread the conversation that will eventually happen around the new ground rules because life at home won’t be much fun, but it’s completely necessary and long over due.